A Day in the Life of a Dog

I've always wondered... what would it be like to live a day in the life of a dog? From my experience of living with a dog and watching too many talking dog cartoons as a child, this is what I've come up with so far.

Goals for today: Make my humans smile at me, snag a few minutes on the forbidden couch, eat people food off the counter, bask in the sunlight on the fresh grass, chase the cat and make her be friends with me

Morning:

Mom is waking up. Mom, Mom! Come get me, oh I want to give you kisses right now! Can you feed me too? I'd really like that a lot. 

FOOOOOOOOD, eat eat eat as fast as I can. Oh man it tastes so good. I wish Mom would put some of those steak scraps in this bowl like last time. Those were, mmm, so good. *Hears Dad tink the cereal bowl with the spoon* Milk is coming!! Sugary, tasty milk. I love my family, and breakfast. Breakfast is great. 

Can we go OUTSIDE??? I see a... SQUIRREL! *Takes off to the squirrel and barks at it from beneath the tree for 5 minutes*

Did you say W-A-L-K? Yes! Those are the shoes! We're going on a walk! Trot trot trot, I've never been so happy. I see kitties in the yards and all the other dogs in fences are barking with jealousy. Poor guys in their fences. But wow, this walk is nice. Mom keeps looking at me with admiration. She likes to look at me like that. I think she likes me. She gives me treats on our walk too, just to remind me that she loves me and to let me know that she likes snacks too.

After our walk, I get to lie in the grass, one of my favorite activities. Sometimes there are hidden pieces of bread from where Mom threw out stale bread to the birdies. Sorry birds, that crusty bread is all mine today.

Afternoon:

After my busy morning relaxing and patrolling the yard, I take to the house for LUNCH time. The humans say that I don't eat lunch, but they always give me a big bone so I'll be quiet and sweet while they talk to each other. I would've been quiet anyway, I'm TIRED, but I'm not telling THEM that. Why would I give up an opportunity for a bone? Goodness. Also, they "accidentally" let things fall onto the floor for me to eat. I even eat these veggie things... it's food, am I right?! Sometimes they taste funny, but my mom and dad are always saying that they need something to balance out their dessert.

Later on, I sneak to the forbidden couch while my mom is on the phone with grandma. Grandma helps distract mom for me, I know she does it just for me when she calls. While they talk, I plan my getaway. My bed is over in the corner by the living room, so I trot over there to lie down, just out of sight from the phone, but in just the right spot so that she thinks she knows where I'm going. After a couple minutes of rest, I very quietly tiptoe over into the next room, home of the couch. I know that as soon as I pop up onto the couch that I'll be caught, so I must cherish these moments as much as possible. What an amazing invention, the couch. The pillows look just like my babies so I play with them sometimes too. Mom likes to come play along... tug of war especially. But then she always gets mad when I win, so I don't know why she plays that game every time.

Night Time:

Time to W-A-L-K again!!!! But first, FOOOOOOOD. Oh man, there are scraps in my bowl tonight!! Ah! Chicken leftovers. My parents are the BEST. Let's get going on the W-A-L-K, I want to gooooo. Off we go, trot trot trot. The kitties are tucked away, but the kids are out to play. They always kick this red ball right to me, but then they scream loudly when I try to play too. How come they don't like when I poke the ball with my teeth? Silly kids. I thought they'd be impressed by my kickball skills.

After playing with the kids and finishing my W-A-L-K, it's time to go home and watch TV for the night. Mom and Dad love to watch shows with dogs in them so I'm not left out during TV time. Sometimes they even let the cat in to watch with us and have some late night play time. For some reason, I don't think play time is what they intend to happen when they let the cat in at this time of night, but I have to run to her as soon as she steps in the door! I want to make her be friends with me... remember?? Goal #5 for the day.

It's been the best day in my favorite place. I love being a dog, surrounded by my favorite people and things all day long. Dog life rocks. Off to my dreams where I'll finally catch the cat! Goodnight, human friends.

Am I fit for the dog life or what?

Until next time,
Lily

For a hilarious account of a day in the life of a dog vs. a day in the life of a cat, go here: http://www.funny2.com/dogscats.htm. I was laughing so hard that I nearly had tears. Enjoy!